Bodily Functions

Confession: sometimes when it comes to being mature about bodily functions, I have a hard time... Especially when it comes to farting. Call me immature, but occasionally even I can't keep it in! So the other day we were in the middle of class and it was totally quite. One of my students sneezed and farted at the same time! I thought it was funny, but then it just got funnier... Another child said, "Bless you," and she said politely (and maybe a little embarrassingly), "Thank you... And excuse me!" She laughed a little, and then another child turned around and said, "Dude, I thought that was a fart!" I couldn't take it anymore! I just stayed at the back of the class and tried to keep it in! The whole class didn't even know how funny it was!

Then, later on that day, I was helping a few kids get set up to take a test, and one girl was patiently waiting and the other girl had the hiccups. But these were no ordinary hiccups... They sounded like (hiccup), "Ow!"... (hiccup), "Ow!" Over and over again! Not sure why this was so funny, but I has to go out into the hall because I was laughing so hard! The girl next to her was probably thinking, "How am I supposed to take a test while she has the hiccups... Of all the rotten luck!"

One more farting experience. I have my PE kids do leg lifts. So they lie on the floor and have to lift their legs up. All too often, the kids let one rip as they are lifting their legs. Now I know that this is partially my fault because I make them do it, but it's also hilarious! The only fear I have is when I have to show them how to do leg lifts properly. If they fart, the kids get over it in a few minutes... If I farted, I'd never hear the end of it!

You've Been Summoned

This morning, one of the other teachers needed me to help out with something, so she sent a student over to my classroom.  First she just looked in, and then she came back a minute later.  She threw out her arms and said in a formal voice, "Ms. Brown summons you," and then in a less excited tone, "Whatever that means!" Maybe we need some work on vocabulary!

So Admired...

Today, one of my students (that I just love), said, "I think you are going to invite me over to your house real soon."  So, I asked, "Why do you say that?"  She said, "I got a fortune cookie last night, and it said that I will be a guest of someone I admire!"

So Pretty....

I have a student that tells me pretty much every day, "You look pretty today!"  During parent/teacher conferences, he came for his conference and told me I looked pretty.  Then he turned to his mom and said with such pride in his voice, "I tell her that every day!"  So, we did our conference, and then, as they were leaving, he said, "Thanks for teaching me.  And, thanks for always looking so pretty!"  That same night, I had a student's little sister tell me I was so pretty!  It was so funny because she said it really quietly like it was more just a thought that escaped her mind!  Back to the child that always calls me pretty, one day, he asked me if I had seen some show.  I told him I hadn't, and he said, "My family is going to see it tonight if you want to come with me."  Say wha?  Did he just ask me out?  That's definitely a no!  So, now it's like a competition between 2 boys to see which one can tell me I look pretty first.  I wonder how long they'll keep this up before they get bored of it... I'm bored of it! :)

New Year, New Grade

This year, I switched from 3rd grade to 6th grade, and I have realized that it's one of the best moves I've ever made!  I love teaching 6th grade!  Sure, there is some drama, and the kids have bigger problems, but I love 6th grade!  Stories to come...

Would You Rather...

Would you rather have everything you have done in the mirror in the past week be shown at a school assembly or have all of your conversations with friends broadcast on the radio?

• "I would hate being spied on in the bathroom. In my bathroom, weird things happen."
• "I would rather find out that all of my moments in front of a mirror in the past week have been secretly filmed because I don't sing in the shower or while I'm doing anything in front of the mirror, and I could just take the mirror down, and plus I always have a towel on after I take a shower, well a robe."
• "One reason that I want that is because it would be weird to be filmed when you're brushing your teeth. Another reason is that if you pose in the mirror, you would have the who school see you posing, and they would think you are the weirdest person in the school. Another reason is that you are in your p.j.s and you are brushing your teeth then they might make fun of you because of your p.j.s."
• "I would rather have all my conversations recorded. That would be embarrassing. So yeah. It's personal. I just think it would be weird and you could just talk about good things with your friends. Or you could talk about things America needs to work on."
• "I would rather be secretly filmed in the bathroom because I have done a lot of funny stuff in the mirror this past week. I sing, I dance, and I do a lot of crazy stuff. My sister does that a lot too, and she is fourteen!"
• "Because you might have really personal secrets with your friends, and you don't want the whole school to know. If you have a personal secret to yourself, well don't say it in the mirror, I mean who does that? So, make good choices."

AND... For my personal favorite:

• "In my bathroom there's a mirror right in front of my toilet so that would be the most embarrassing thing of my life! And I don't like being filmed at the bathroom because that's where I eat the snacks I take from the pantry without permission!

Would You Rather...

So, in my classroom, the kids will respond to "Would You Rather..." questions. So many of their responses are hilarious, so I am going to start including some of those in my blog. Hilarious things written by students to come!